The longer a couple has been together, the less excitement their evenings may have. The time that they once spent enjoying each other’s company is now spent arguing over whose turn it is to wash the dishes or who should pick the movie that is put on.
However, the time before bed is an excellent time for couples to commit to rituals that encourage bonding, strengthen their relationship, and make the years to come even more wonderful than those that have already passed.
7 Bedtime Rituals for Couples
Every relationship is different, so which rituals seem the most natural to add to your nighttime routine will depend on you, your partner, and the relationship you have. However, each of these possible rituals offers some benefit to you, whether it is strengthening your relationship or improving your headspace so that you can sleep easier.
Say “I Love You” Before Turning Out the Lights
Starting simple: say “I love you” to your partner before going to sleep. It allows you to end your day with a positive reminder that you have someone special in your life with whom you share these powerful emotions. When your partner says it back, you’ll get a warm, tingly sensation perfect for drifting off to sleep.
It’s easy to assume that your partner knows of your continued affection, but hearing the words and confirmation can completely turn their day around. So, make a habit of saying “I love you,” and doing so right before going to sleep will help bring peace to the end of your day.
Recount a Funny Memory
Whether it’s something amusing that happened during the day or years ago, take time before bed to remember a fond memory that brings a chuckle to your partner. Laughing helps to reduce stress and tension, which can otherwise hinder your sleep. Additionally, recounting a memory helps to strengthen your bond with your partner—just think of all the memories the two of you share!
Give Each Other a Massage
At the end of a long day, does anything sound as appealing as a massage? By making this a part of your nighttime wind-down routine, you and your partner always have something to look forward to.
Massages can offer many benefits, including:
- Helping you and your partner relax
- Releasing physical tension
- Promoting calmness
- Triggering the release of serotonin and dopamine in the brain, which increases happiness
In addition to these physical and mental benefits, which can help you sleep better, massages also help to strengthen your bond with your partner and increase affection.
To give a massage, have your partner lie down on a comfortable surface, such as a bed, and ensure the room is quiet and peaceful. Using massage oil or lotion, start with gentle strokes and gradually increase the pressure when you find areas of tension—the shoulders, neck, and back are common for this. Listen to your partner, as well, to see if you need to ease up or apply more pressure.
While giving the massage, prompt your partner to talk about their day, but also allow them to sit in silence if they only crave the presence of your company.
Cuddle
An oldie but a goodie, studies show that sleeping close and cuddling release oxytocin, a hormone that helps to lower stress and induce feelings of safety, calmness, and security. Cuddling essentially puts you in the perfect headspace to drift off to sleep.
Unplug From your Electronics
Putting away the electronics helps you and your partner focus on each other, which can help you relax and prepare for sleep. Additionally, the blue light emitted from screens has been shown to suppress melatonin production, which can then keep you from falling asleep. So, unplugging from electronics before bed offers two benefits for couples: it fosters an environment where you can strengthen your relationship, and it ensures your production of melatonin, the sleepiness hormone, proceeds as usual.
Add In Some Intimacy
Intimacy helps to create a sense of unity and closeness with your partner, which offers a level of emotional connection that soothes your mind.
In a more physical sense, being intimate can help you fall asleep more easily. It reduces stress levels and promotes relaxation, which can then help you drift off to sleep.
Keep Time for Pillow Talk
Ensure that you have time in your bedtime routine to talk with your partner, ideally about positive things. This is often nicknamed “pillow talk” because it can be done while lying in bed with the lights off, cuddling as you talk.
This ritual hits multiple other points—you’re lying in a comfortable position, cuddling, and can even add in a funny story or memory in order to share a laugh.
This time helps to meet each other’s emotional needs and ensures that your relationship remains strong.
How Affection Can Improve Sleep
Nurturing your relationship with your partner can go a long way in improving your sleep quality.
A study on 179 couples found that those with greater attachment security (i.e., greater security in the strength of their relationship) had greater sleep quality. Essentially, if you’re confident in your relationship, you are able to sleep more soundly.
However, a relationship left alone will flounder; it needs to continually be nurtured in order to remain strong, and you can accomplish this by making your pre-bed routine one that you share with your partner. Adding activities that support your relationship can help you to feel more secure in its durability, which can then improve your sleep quality.
Having a solid relationship and spending time with someone you care for can also improve your mood, which research has shown to be correlated with better sleep quality, as well.
When you take the time to create a bedtime ritual with your partner that focuses on reducing stress, improving happiness, and strengthening your relationship, you’ll find that your nights become easier and your days more pleasant, thanks to the higher quality sleep and shared affection.
