Sharing a bed with your partner can be a wonderful thing. At night, being physically close to the one we loved is a time of bonding, intimacy and connection.
But the unfortunate truth is that sharing a bed can often cause sleep disturbances, too. Factors such as snoring, blanket hogging, fidgeting—and having vastly different points of view when it comes to temperature and noise—can all be sources of contention. At best these will cause arguments, but at worst they may stop one (or both) members of the couple from enjoying a peaceful sleep.
And the stats say it all: research from the Better Sleep Council has found that one in three Americans report that their bed partner negatively impacts their sleep. That’s a lot of people walking around with somebody else to blame for their low energy and bad mood!
With this startling statistic in mind, it’s important to find solutions to ensure both partners can enjoy a peaceful and restful night's sleep. Let’s consider some practical tips and adjustments that can ensure both individuals are getting the nightly rest they need—and deserve.
1. Invest in a Larger Bed
Choosing the right bed size is critical for minimizing disturbances and ensuring both partners have enough space to stretch out. If there are pets and children that also like to join, this is even more important. Going for a king-size bed, with dimensions of 76” by 80”, is a fab place to start—but if you’ve got space and budget, why not upsize even further?
The Sleep Foundation highlights a number of oversized beds such as the Texas King and the Family XL, the biggest being the eye-wateringly large Alaskan King at a generous 108” x 108”. Having more space can greatly impact your comfort and sleep quality, reducing the likelihood of disruptions throughout the night.
2. Use Separate Duvets
Why argue over the covers when you can just have your own? Investing in a second duvet is a low-cost way of increasing your chances of some decent shut-eye. Dr. Rafael Pelayo, a sleep specialist at the Stanford Center for Sleep Sciences and Medicine, recommends separate bedding for couples facing sleep disturbances.
“If somebody is telling me that they're having concerns about one person moving too much or they're uncomfortable in their bed because they're fighting over covers, I suggest, why can't you get two blankets? It seems to make sense,” he told Good Housekeeping.
This approach allows each partner to cater to their warmth preferences without the disputes, leading to a more personalized and peaceful sleep environment. Wife prefers a thicker tog and you’re always overheating? Problem solved.
3. Reduce Light
When you’re sleeping, it’s important to create as dark and as quiet a room as possible. As this article in Vogue magazine explains, as you sleep, your retinas communicate directly with the suprachiasmatic nucleus, the part of the brain responsible for scheduling the release of sleep and wakefulness hormones.
Installing blackout curtains to block out street lamps and morning light can be key to helping you sleep more soundly. You also may like to rethink any small electrical lights that appear on air conditioning units or radios. These can pass through closed eyelids and potentially disturb your sleep without you realizing—and it may be your poor partner who ends up getting the blame!
4. Tackle Snoring
Snoring is a common cause for sleep disturbance. Most will be familiar with the sound, but what causes it? Snoring comes about when air movement becomes obstructed during sleep, which leads to the vibration of respiratory structures—and it has the potential to be extremely unsettling for anybody trying to get a good night’s sleep nearby.
When surveyed by the Better Sleep Council, 42% of women reported that snoring affects their sleep, compared to 20% of men. Snoring can signal underlying health issues like sleep apnea, and if it’s heavy, it’s crucial to address it for both the snorer's health and the sleep quality of those affected.
If snoring is an issue in your household, you may like to explore anti-snoring devices such as mouth tape, nose clips, mouthpieces, or positional therapy vests to improve sleep quality for both partners.
5. Create a Bedtime Ritual
What do you tend to do just before bed? If you’re watching TV, looking at your smartphone, or finishing off work at your computer, it’s likely you won’t settle down quickly when you do get into bed. Sleep routines aren’t just for babies—adults, too, can benefit greatly from the ability of routine to help us wind down at the end of the day.
Engaging in calming activities like reading, stretching, or taking a bath before bed can significantly improve sleep onset and quality. As this article in Happiful magazine explains, meditation in particular, has been shown to help individuals fall asleep twice as quickly and enhance REM sleep states, making it a valuable part of a sleep routine. In fact, at the end of one study into insomnia and meditation, 60% of participants no longer qualified as insomniacs. That’s pretty impressive!
6. Talk About It
Communication, compromise, and understanding are key when it comes to creating harmonious sleep habits between two people. Having open dialogue and empathizing with your partner can do wonders to address tricky issues such as mattress firmness and bedroom temperature. It’s key to ensure that both partners' varying needs are met.
And if you’re not seeing eye to eye, consulting with a sleep specialist is a practical way to get tailored advice, solutions, and strategies for shared sleep success.
The takeaway here is that it would be a shame to allow sleep issues to get in the way of your romantic relationship. Use our tips to address the various factors that may be affecting your (or your partner’s) ability to get a good night’s sleep.
