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Improving Your Sleep

The Impact of Sleep Talking on Sleep Quality and Relationships: Finding Solutions 

Sleep talking can worsen sleep quality for the sleep talker and their partner. Explore solutions for sleep talking that preserve your relationship.

WEB-446 – The Impact of Sleep Talking on Sleep Quality and Relationships Finding Solutions

Have you been told that you talk in your sleep? If you do, this may explain any sleepiness that you still have in the morning, but this sleep-talking can also affect the sleep quality of the individual reporting on what you say during the night. 
 
Partners of those who sleep talk often bear the brunt of the negative side effects, with them being more likely to wake from the talking than the talker themselves. Depending on what is said, tension may even arise in the relationship.  
 
While sleep talking can affect sleep quality, and potentially your relationship, there are ways to preserve both so that everyone can sleep better.  

What Is Sleep Talking?

Sleep talking is a type of parasomnia, which are abnormal behaviors performed during sleep. Typically, parasomnias are specific to one stage of sleep, whether the non-rapid eye movement (NREM) stages or the REM stages. However, sleep talking is unique because it can occur during both of these stages, so sleep talking may occur at any point during the night.  
 
While scientists remain unsure of what causes sleep talking, they have found that sleep talking that begins when you’re an adult—in comparison to childhood-onset sleep talking— appears more often in those with mental health conditions. There is also a potential genetic link to sleep talking, so those with parents or siblings who sleep talk may as well. 

How Does Sleep Talking Affect Sleep Quality?

You may be more worried about what you say during the night, but the true concern of sleep talking lies in its possible effect on your sleep quality.  
 
One study on sleep talking found that sleep talking was associated with more sleep alterations, specifically greater sleep fragmentation. This refers to the interruption of sleep through nighttime wakings. 
 
There are many repercussions of these arousals. First, waking during the night equates to less time spent asleep, leading to sleep loss. In addition to a loss in total sleep time, waking during the night also lessens the amount of deep sleep that you get since it is one of the later sleep stages; this can lead to poorer sleep quality and feeling less revitalized in the morning. 
 
Waking during the night can also throw off your natural circadian rhythm, which can then create daytime drowsiness or difficulty falling asleep the next night.  

The Effect of Sleep Talking on Relationships

Sleep talking can do more than affect your sleep; it may also affect your relationship. 
 
First and foremost, if you talk in your sleep, it can wake up your partner, disturbing their sleep quality, as well. When you are both suffering from sleep deprivation the next day, this can cause emotions to run unchecked and irritation to rise, which may cause fights to crop up that might otherwise never happen. In the long term, these squabbles may chip away at the strength of your relationship and cause animosity between you and your partner.  
 
Additionally, there is the matter of what is said while sleep-talking, although this is less of a concern—more than half of all sleep-talking episodes are typically incomprehensible, and when sleep-talking can be understood, it may be words or sentences that have no sense to them.  
 
However, one study found that, of the comprehensible utterances throughout the night, a majority of them are negative and profane and often resemble a familiar, tense conversation. If your partner finds themselves to be who your words are directed at, it may impact your relationship.  
 
How hurtful this sleep talking may be to your partner can also depend on the sleep stage in which you’re sleep talking, with this same study finding that sleep talking in REM sleep often involves insulting or condemning someone, while swearing is most common in NREM sleep.  
 
Ultimately, it’s often the bed partner who bears most of the negative consequences of sleep talking, whether it’s from being awoken during the night or becoming offended by the content of what is said.  

Finding Solutions for Sleep Talking

While sleep-talking may be one of the most common parasomnias, with 66% of people sleep-talking at some point in their lives, there are steps you can take to limit its appearance, preserve your sleep, and support your relationship.  

Keep in mind that since scientists are unsure about what causes sleep talking, there is limited knowledge on how to stop it. However, for those who are looking to limit or eliminate their sleep-talking episodes, improving your sleep hygiene may be a good place to start; as a blending of sleep and wakefulness, many parasomnias are believed to be more likely to occur if your sleep patterns are disturbed.  
 
With this theory in mind, promoting consistent and stable sleep may help to prevent parasomnias such as sleep talking.  
 
Some ways to enhance sleep hygiene include: 

  • Avoiding caffeine in the late afternoon and evening 
  • Keeping a consistent sleep schedule every day 
  • Taking time to wind down and relax before bed 
  • Putting electronics away at least an hour before bed 
  • Getting exposure to daylight during the day 
  • Exercising during the day 
  • Creating a cozy sleep space with comfortable pillows, bedding, and mattresses.  

The bed partners of those who sleep talk may consider wearing ear plugs to block out the sleep-talking and avoid waking during the night—a white noise machine or fan may also help to keep them from waking. If these tactics do not help, they may find that it’s best to sleep in a different room so that they don’t have to worry about waking up during the night.  
 
As for the content of what is said while sleeping, if a partner finds anything offensive, it’s best to bring it up in the morning. Often, what is said is not a direct reflection of the sleep talker’s true feelings and may not be intended toward their partner at all—discussing what was said while sleep talking is a great way to keep communication open rather than let negative feelings build.  
 
Sleep talking can affect the sleep quality of the individual sleep talking along with anyone who shares their room with them. There is also the risk of offense being felt depending on what is said while sleeping. However, maintaining communication and improving sleep hygiene can go a long way in ensuring sleep talking does not drive a wedge in your relationship.  

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Written by

Jessica G

Medical writer freelancer who has written hundreds of articles on varying topics. Masters of Engineering degree in Biomedical Engineering.

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