If your child doesn’t follow a bedtime routine, you may be apprehensive about starting one, especially if they already resist bedtime. However, a bedtime routine can make bedtime easier since it gives your child something to follow and look forward to.
Bedtime routines offer children security and independence while also setting them up for nighttime (and, as a result, daytime) success. The key, though, is remembering that bedtime routines should be completed each night to truly make them a habit. When implemented correctly, bedtime routines set up a good relationship with sleep that your child will hold onto for years.
Why Your Child Needs a Bedtime Routine
A bedtime routine is a consistent set of activities completed before bed every night, and it can make or break your child’s nights. The primary goal of a bedtime routine is to prepare your child for bed—the routine helps your child calm down and relax while also teaching them how to fall asleep on their own.
Bedtime routines help your child sleep better. Research shows that children who follow a bedtime routine go to sleep earlier, spend less time falling asleep, and wake up less during the night. All of this equates to your child spending more time in the restorative embrace of sleep, where their bodies have the time they need to grow and develop. Furthermore, these benefits of good sleep quality thanks to a bedtime routine can last for years.
Sleep is crucial for children, and a bedtime routine is one way that you can help them get enough of it.
Yet another benefit of the bedtime routine centers less on what is completed and instead on the fact that the same steps are followed each night. This routine provides your child with a sense of security—they know what to expect next and never question if something will or won’t be present. Furthermore, as they learn the steps, they can increase their independence by following the routine on their own.
Instilling a bedtime routine helps your child learn how to care for themselves while also allowing them to strengthen their attention, memory, and cognition skills. The parent-child bonding time can also help to improve your child’s language development, literacy, mood, and behavior.
Furthermore, the skills a child practices during a bedtime routine, along with the better sleep they receive, can help them prepare for school and achieve a higher academic performance. Overall, the benefits of a bedtime routine extend far beyond a better night of sleep.
Curating a Bedtime Routine
It’s never too early to start your child on a bedtime routine. Even babies can benefit from a routine, and instilling healthy habits early makes it easier to keep them up. If your child doesn’t yet follow a bedtime routine, though, there’s no better time than now to start.
A bedtime routine typically consists of a few activities, at least three to four, that are always completed in the same order. To further their benefits, try dimming the lights and turning off screens as your child follows their routine.
Some bedtime habits that can help your child’s sleep include:
- A bath or diaper change
- A nutritious snack or breast/bottle-feeding
- Reading a book
- Brushing teeth
- Going to the bathroom
- Singing a lullaby together (or having one sung to them)
- Talking about their day
- Rocking or cuddling
In addition to adding these habits to your child’s routine, here are some more bedtime routine tips:
Follow Their Routine Everyday
Whether it’s a weeknight or weekend, or you’ve been out all day and feel too drained, it’s important to try your best to complete the bedtime routine every day. There may be days where you can’t get it all in—that’s just a part of life—but always try to complete the routine when you can.
If your child’s bedtime routine feels too long and complex to complete each night, try simplifying it. Consistency is more important than depth, in this case, so aim for a bedtime routine of around half an hour, maybe a little longer if a bath is part of the routine.
Don’t Be Afraid to Adapt
There’s no clear-cut “best” bedtime routine because the most relaxing habits will depend on the child. One child may want to read a book together, while another may prefer singing a song and talking about their day. Even more, your child’s preferences will change as they grow, so their bedtime routine needs to have the flexibility to change with them.
If something isn’t working in your child’s bedtime routine, don’t be afraid to change things. Once your child gets to a point where they can express their thoughts, allow them to provide feedback on what they do and don’t like. If there’s something they don’t like, swap it out—keeping it in the routine may cause them to resent their routine instead of enjoying it, which can lead to later nights and poorer sleep quality.
Don’t Make Abrupt Changes
As kids get older, they can push back their bedtime and modify their routine to meet their changing interests, but it’s best to avoid adding too many changes at once. The point of a routine is consistency, and abrupt changes can throw this off.
If your child is ready to go to bed later, try shifting their bedtime in 15-minute increments instead of one large jump. If they have other changes going on in their life, such as starting school or moving, try to keep their bedtime routine the same, as it offers them security and reassurance.
Start Before They’re Sleepy
If you wait until your child is sleepy to start their bedtime routine, you’re already too late. When children become overtired, they can be hyperactive or grumpy and often have a harder time falling asleep. Their grumpiness can also make them more resistant to following their bedtime routine, which can throw off everyone’s mood at night.
Instead, try to start your child’s bedtime routine before they start yawning.
Watch Their Snacks
While a snack can be a part of a bedtime routine, it’s best to stay away from anything sugary, as the sugar can disrupt their sleep and may even cause them to wake up in the middle of the night, which can lead to late-night wakeups and poorer sleep for you as well.
Make Good Sleep a Routine
When you teach your child how to follow a bedtime routine and associate bedtime with relaxing activities instead of the cessation of their fun and games, they will curate a healthy relationship with sleep that extends throughout the rest of their lives.
There can be challenges with bedtime routines—toddlers may try to resist bedtime, and teens may have responsibilities that cause them to push back their bedtime. Still, when the entire family emphasizes the importance of bedtime routines and good sleep, everyone will see an improved relationship with bedtime.
Consistency is key with a bedtime routine, but it’s important to remember that this only applies to implementing the routine each night—the steps and timing of the routine can (and should) change as your child ages. If you keep up your child’s bedtime routine, though, whatever that may include, they’ll be sure to check off “get a good night of sleep” each night, as well.
